Imagine your favorite character barging into your room this moment, grabbing your hand, and taking you with them into their world
Lets be honest though most of us would be dead within a week
Most of my favorite characters are from Tom Robbins novels, and are blissfully crazy people who take a lot of psychadelics, not unlike the friends I have in reality. So I think I’d be okay.
Nostalgia hits me like a pillowcase full of bricks, cracking my jaw open under the shifting skies; its sweet poison leaks into my blood and muddles my marrow.
London, it is time we meet again. I am getting myself a very early birthday gift. My spine sings for Bloomsbury and my heart longs for those rain slicked cobbled streets.
I long to immerse myself again in the soothing mind frame free from the possession of fear for the future, my career, money, and the trajectory of my life; such as I did for those three months spent in bliss in that rainy city that I made my own, so far from home.
I suppose fear and apprehension for the future are just phantoms we must live with, or view through a different lens. Today, I feel, despite being exceptionally sick, that I have a pinky nail of a foothold in the ascension to dispelling my ghosts of self doubt for my skills and abilities.
Like dealing with my eating disorder and my body dysmorphia, surfacing from below these muddy waters will take time, and doubtless be filled with misdirection, failure and struggle— but if I’m going to stick around and see life through to the end instead of throwing myself in front of a bus, I have to break the supple skinned barrier and find my freedom and solitude in the eye of the storm.
Off to book hotels for Hollywood. Lefteri leaves tomorrow and he has also fallen to the illness that I have. Time to savor the seconds we have left as they rush past us.
Shine on you crazy diamonds.
Is Seven Psychopaths out on disc yet?
It’s something I feel I need in my life, or at least blessing my pupils and irradiating my brain with cinematic goodness, seasoned with fond memories of watching it with Lefteri at Curzon SOHO while drinking strawberry lime Kopparberg…or was it Rekorderling?
In other news, it is less than a week till Lefteri flies back to London and I’m already getting a premature case of the departure weepies.
I am both dreading and amped for the jaunt down to SoCal.
Amped cause: Amanda, Kevin, Natalie, swimming, sunshine, Primus, drinking without worrying about driving, free grapefruit probably.
Dreading cause: Money, getting into a swimsuit, getting into figure fitting clothes, packing, driving, my car, letting my problems out into the world in an unbecoming manner via alcohol fueled freedom.
Time to go clean my car. 8D And pack.